i have no idea what triggers this feeling, but i can never escape it. it usually comes at night from sitting on the computer; i don't know if that is the absolute cause of the feeling though. sometimes i just feel utterly hopeless. hopeless in friends, hopeless in girls(always), even hopeless in music. i hate my past and i'm scared of the future. i miss bo and sean and ben. i wish we were around eachother all the time. although i feel like none of them really want to see me as much as i do theml; we are all moving in different directions. i am searching out of discontent, i have been trying to talk to girls from different countries so that i might be able to travel out of the US. it's pointless and pathetic. i don't know what i am doing. fuck.
listen to death in june and kill yourself.
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its june 26th. i think i need an update. gheeey.
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